I know I'm not the only one thinking it: God has come to Judge California. What seems like a war-zone already, Los Angeles is about to meet its Maker.

Consider the trumpets that have blown already:

(1) San Bernadino, suburbs of Los Angeles, and a LOT of San Diego have gone up in flames. I know, I've witnessed it, as well as the sun being blocked out of the sky due to thousands of tons of ash floating through the atmosphere.

(2) There was an earthquake in Central California, on the coast, and it registered something almost equivalent to Iran's tragic shocks. Thank goodness those smarmy Californians can afford solid housing, or they might have ended up like our poor Iranian brothers and sisters.

(3) Schwarzenegger was elected Governor. Yes, an Austrian bodybuilder known almost exclusively for brandishing broadswords and machine guns, with half-chewed cigar stogie in mouth, was put in charge of one of the largest economies in the WORLD. He repealed the crazy car tax (after I paid for it, mind you), just so that he could make drastic cuts to 'liberal' programs, but in order to free up necessary money to pay the police, of which a couple have been caught beating up minorities on video (see: Rodney King, and that youth at the gas station), and firefighters (see: getting ass kicked by huge fire because they didn't have enough resources). Whatever I write here, in all seriousness, the police and firefighters need a desperate raise. Arnold simply gave them their money back, and not a raise.

(4) California is in a terrible fiscal crisis, and meanwhile the state ponders giving illegal immigrants rights to possess driver licences. That makes a lot of sense. Next thing you know, they'll want to grant insurance, too.

(5) Due to old charred forests from LAST year, a short downpour created a deadly mudslide which buried something like 15 people attending a Christmas ceremony in the woods. I think 9 of those were children, including a 3-month-old. The area is expecting more rain.

(6) A freak blizzard blew in the north part of the state, and stranded people on the roads without water, food, or heat. Truckers who have driven interstate 5 for decades have never seen anything like it.

(7) To be determined by God. Possibilities include: Tsunamis, Seven-Headed Dragons, a plague of immigrants, the Colorado river turns to blood, but there isn't enough to pump anyway, bad surfing conditions, the four horsemen of the border patrol, not enough parking at the mall, and cheap housing.